Post 569: Holiday Malaise (3/31/10)

Holiday Malaise (12/19/09 c, 3/31/10 w)

I should be feeling better

I should be feeling the love
But it’s only me
And there seems to be, to be
No presents under my tree

Nobody cares if I live or die

Should I really wonder why
When I never meant anything to anyone
Here I am, I am one
And I can’t escape this

Holiday malaise
These should be happier days
But they aren’t for me
Just haunting memories of what didn’t go right
Of all the women I loved, who never actually loved me
Stuck in my holiday malaise

So here I am watching the holidays

From the outside looking in
For the first time all alone
Though I’ve got my family near my side
I still feel so alone
I hoped by now that I would be
The father of a family with a loving wife at my side
But that was not the way it was meant to be
And the unfulfilled promise is killing me

Holiday malaise

These should be happier days
But they aren’t for me
Just haunting memories of what didn’t go right
Of all the women I loved, who never actually loved me
Stuck in my holiday malaise